A Little Noodle Soup Insight

When I was a kid, we were a Top Ramen kind of family.

That is probably more a result of the price than a result of any brand snobbery. At a rate of 10 packages for a buck, how can you go wrong? And how can it be snobbery?

We were also an “Oriental Flavor” kind of family.

Whatever ‘Oriental Flavor’ implies, its ingredients include a bunch of chemicals, a healthy dose of monosodium glutamate (MSG), an ample supply of sodium, dried leek flakes, garlic powder, onion powder and a mysterious and generic ingredient simply called ‘spice’. Apparently, the secrets to the ‘orient’ are in that last ingredient. My guess is that spice mix recipe is a highly-classified corporate secret Nissin keeps hidden under lock and key. It is also probably protected by a team of Japanese Ninjas with cool throwing stars. You know, for good measure.

That mystery is of little concern, because ‘oriental flavor’ is delicious. Furthermore, when you are an adolescent, who cares if the term ‘oriental’ is a slightly off-color and, also, a totally misguided cultural descriptor? Who cares that ‘orient’ really only points to places east of places west according to a map drawn in the west? Who cares that for 10 cents a whole package gets you well north of half of your daily sodium intake?  Who cares that, economically, it makes no sense nearly 400 calories are had for a mere pittance?

Not my family.

All that mattered to us was that in a mere 3 minutes, we could have salt and a whole bunch of mouth pleasing umami in a bowl with strechy, starchy, wavy noodles . Thank you, monosodium glutamate and flash frying technology. Furthermore, with a bit more effort and some creativity, Top Ramen could be turned into a feast of kings.

When my brother would babysit my sister and me, it was either Top Ramen or Kraft Mac-n-Cheese on the menu. It became a sort of game to fancy up our ramen dinner. We might start out cleverly blending ‘Oriental Flavor’ with another flavor. Beef, Chicken or Shrimp, it did not matter, as long as we started with ‘Oriental.’ However, that was never enough. Raiding the spice cupboard would include a dash of this and a pinch of that. You know, to really amp it up and, uh, make it homemade. The result? A whole new spice and salt bomb, of course.

Next, there would be meat. No meal is complete without meat, right? While cutting spam into something like lardons was preferred, we were not above making strips out of cheap lunch meat or even bologna. If we were lucky, a recent trip to the intrepid ‘oriental grocery store’ might result in leftover fish cake slices. Only the fish cake with a neon pink ‘rind’ would do. And yes, we did call it the ‘oriental grocery store’. It was the 70s and 80s, you know.

As any faithful fan of David Chang knows, no ramen bowl is complete without an egg. Apparently, my siblings and I were way ahead of this hip, ‘new’ trend’; although, we were never smart enough to soft boil an egg. Our preferred method was to vigorously scramble two eggs. Then, just after the noodles were added, we slowly drizzled the scramble into the boiling broth. The resulting, super-fine egg strands were some kind of cooking magic. When we were in a super elaborate mood, we would fry a super-thin, super-dry omelet then roll it up and chop it into little ribbons. In that case, the egg goes last, like a delicate garnish. As if we were artists, we would finish each bowl with thinly sliced scallions and a few dashes of tobacco sauce.

Don’t judge, it was awesome.

By the way, any concerns you might have about us damaging our precious and developing little brains with additives, MSG, food colorings and other mystery chemicals, I would say after splitting four bachelors degrees, three masters degrees and two doctorates among us, we seemed to be immune. Or, just plain stubborn.

That is how my love of all thing noodles began. While I do love the current noodle craze and I am not above indulging in a packaged of flash fried noodles once in a while, I now prefer to start my noodle bowls from scratch. Like that plucky little ‘Oriental Flavor’ packet, my noodle bowls start with the reason for that packet, the broth.

Start with the stock. Sure, you can use one of those tetrapack stocks from the store, but simmering roasted bones in water with a few cups of mirepoix (fancy chef-talk for chopped onions, carrots and celery) and herbs for a few days is really a low maintenance activity. It also makes for a tastier stock. I leave it in the crockpot on low for a whole week.

Next, give your broth some extra flavor. Skip the MSG and get umami from the ocean. I always use two types of seaweed in my noodle broth – a sheet of dried kombu and a few tablespoons of wakame. For more umami, I prefer truffle oil over sesame oil, but, why not both? Bonito flakes add a hit of fishiness. Hot pepper flakes give it some heat. Garlic and ginger are classic noodle broth flavors. Finally, a large dash of soy sauce and a spoonful of sweet white miso does not hurt either. These are just suggestions, make your base your own and taste it as you go.

Make a lot – like gallons. This stuff stays in the fridge for a long time and freezes beautifully. Having this broth on hand, means a noodle bowl is almost as instant as instant noodles in a polystyrene cup. And so much tastier.

Once the broth is made, the rest is about making it fancy. Below, I offer a guide to a few of my favorite noodles. If I am feeling really ambitious, I might roll out my own noodles. However, if this is going to compete with the convenience of those noodle bricks, dried or pre-made noodles are the way to go. All of these varieties are available at the Asian market (you know, those ‘oriental’ grocery stores of the past). However, I bet the regular grocery store (you know the capitalist, big box, all-in-one, mega store of today. Why not puck up some furniture while you are there?) has at least one of these in stock.

Finally, it is time to fancy up that noodle bowl. Today, why not mushrooms, fried tofu and some of those fish cakes with neon pink rind? No worries, this fish cake is organic. Top it with scallions and Sriracha sauce. And do yourself a favor, ditch the Tabasco.